Life with out a brace ^_^ and with a job and stuffs.

OKAY! So yes, my blog still exists and so do I and my knee and yeah. Sorry that I've been so MIA lately. 

NOTE AND APOLOGY: This post will sound pretty informal, because of finals week and it's mid-night. Just bear with me, folks. 

So, I got my brace off forever about 12 days ago, which is approximately six weeks after my surgery. I am now at 8 weeks post-op as I write this post.

So, now to play catch-up! I am working again, thank heaven. I definitely needed to, and not just because money is cool. It feels great to...work I guess. I enjoy working. Unless I'm super wiped and sleepy but then that's just my own fault, isn't it. 

I work at the school's cafeteria, as a server, cashier, and dish-washer. Each has their own perks.Also I get to eat for free when I work. I mean being a server is chill because you get to see lots of people, you're always moving, and you don't have to wash dishes. Being a Cashier is also pretty fun because, again, you get to deal with people, but it isn't cool because you can't really sit down. And being in the dish-room is nice because you don't have to worry about people listening to you belting songs as you wash dishes, but the downside is that, well, you gotta wash dishes!

My knee is doing well. Let's see. I can now (slowly) go upstairs pretty normally! Downstairs is a bit tougher, and I have to use a combination of gripping the hand rail like a drowning person and tip-toeing like a ballerina. But it feels SO AWESOME to be able to do it. Also, like walking. And sitting in chairs normally (FINALLY) is the BEST FEELING OF LIFE. I cannot wait until I can jump and run and ride bikes and swim; but, those'll come in time I'm assured.

I feel like I'm overly optimistic in these posts, so this paragraph will be...non-optimistic? pessimistic? Hm. Some days are worse than others. Some days I just find something sweet from my fridge and curl up on my bed with an ice-pack on my knee and music in my ears (usually that's after a long night of work). And some days my knee just gives me some random issues. I like to think that it's throwing a tantrum, or that I have to break-in my new muscle like a new pair of shoes. Some people tell me that weather has an impact on my knee, and I like to think I agree because that means I'm sort of like that chick from mean girls who tell the weather with her boobs, but with my knee. But I haven't come to any conclusion on that yet. So yeah, some days it's a little more stiff or sore or swollen than other days, but I just ice it when I get home and massage it and it's fine the next day. But most days I'm feelin great(: I find that pain doesn't really bother me. And usally my knee is pretty good at not hurting anyway. 

[the knee in question]

 [oh look the good knee too]

OH ALSO at the risk of sounding shallow, my wardrobe has opened unbelievably now that I am brace-free. skinny jeans, pants, boots, heels...I feel like I've won the lottery. I literally sometimes forget that I own certain articles of clothing because I haven't used them in so long.

I haven't been to physical therapy in two weeks though. Kinda slacking on that. But it's a hassle to get there by bus, since I have to set aside a few hours for it, and my new employed status doesn't make it any less difficult. However, since the semester will be over after this week, I'll have much more time. I'll get on that physical therapy!

That's about it for me down here in Hawaii, land of the island Hobbits. Unfortunately that's not it's real name, it's just what I call it because everyone is barefoot here. Just had to clarify that, because I'm sure you all believed that's what Hawaii is really called. You're welcome. Yes I'm tired. No I'm not finishing this post when I wake up, I'm doing it now.

Anyways, thanks for reading. I apologize again, for the informality of this post. Live large! Love sweet <3 Take chances and trust (:

I'm out! Peace out home-slices :P

PT and Musings.

Hey!
Sooo I feel I'm not too good at this bloging thing, though you think that i might have become even a little more adept at by now. Anyways, I'm completely off crutches now, and it's four weeks post-op this past tuesday. *For the technical reccord, I have been off crutches for about a weekish now.*

My first day of physical therapy was last friday, and that has been going well enough. You know, it's the usual shocking and stretching routine. *techie: my ROM (range of motion) is currently at 52 degrees, and i walk with my brace unlocked to 90 degrees (since my doc wants me to be at ninty by the end of the month). *

Finals week is coming up, so that's exciting. Also, I got a job today! It's at the schools cafeteria. I start in about a month, after the semester ends, which is when I'm officially cleared for work.

Other than that, life is life. Or, rather life IS. Life isn't things, things are life. Haha now I'm just rambling, aren't I?

So I'll leave you with that, you reader you. OH! Also my PT has me doing excersizes at home ^-^ I'll check in with my ROM next week.

Doc Visit? Pics? Halloween?

Hey, you!

(TL;DR: I now only use one crutch and my brace is unlocked to ninety degrees; which means that I can A, bend it and B, begin Physical Therapy. And oh look some gruesome pictures,) And THIS is a good song. Also kinda Halloweeny.

I feel like I could be Frankenstein for Halloween, you know? I mean, that's what my knee looks like anyhow.

So I had my two week post-op appointment yesterday. Nothing fancy, really. I went in, he had me take off my monster-brace, ace wrap, and band-aids (ew) and examined my surgical-incision-thingies.

Luckily, no infection there. After that he moved my knee cap around, and confirmed that it was nice and firm -- as opposed to how loose it was prior to the surgery.

Then, the exciting part happened!! HE LET ME BEND MY KNEE. LIKE OKAY IT WAS THE WEIRDEST THING I HAVE EVER FELT. Well, not the weirdest thing, but it was up there on the "
Weirdest Things Emma has Felt" list. But for cereal now! I hope you never have to keep a limb straight and out of commission for a long stretch of time, and then be required to bend it and use it. It's like...something solid turning liquid. OH as if you could suddenly bend your arm in the middle of your fore-arm. or something weird like that.

But yeah. He tested my ROM (range of motion), and my quad strength. Basically "How much can you bend your knee before crying/if I hold your leg and slowly let it drop, are you able to lift your leg up and keep it from falling?" Yeah, not fun lol.

Walking with one crutch and a bendable brace is more difficult, in that each steps requires more effort than if I were only using crutches; however, it's less difficult in it's own way because...well...who likes crutches I guess.

But yeah...what else? I'm on one crutch, I'm trying my best in school and life, and I have awesome friends.

Happy one week anniversary to me!

It's been officially one week post-op, folks.
And OH. if you're coming here from facebook, sorry about maybe/maybe not guilting you into checkin out mah post. It's sort of an expirement I wanted to try. To see if my hits went up or down signifigantly depending on what I wrote when I shared it. 

ANYWAY quick update:

I've just dropped in with some good news. I was back to classes yesterday, which went well -- and I'm not even two weeks post-op! Ah! My optimism for this situation is unreal. I had a bit of soreness and swelling by the end of the day, but nothing scary that some ice didn't fix.

I'm still off work, but hopefully not for too long. I see my surgeon in nine days, which is when he'll evaluate me and my quads, gauging whether or not I still need my crutches; I'm hoping I won't. And I'm not just talkin the talk here, I've actually been walkin the walk (lol I crack myself up sometimes). But really, I've been trying to wake up my quads, and surprisingly it's going well, which doesn't happen for most people this soon post-op. (After this kind of surgery quad muscles tend to take a very unresponsive nap...)

The most difficult thing for me, so far, has been staying still. I'm usually always up and going places, exercising, socializing -- anything besides sitting in my dorm somewhere (movies and books excepted of course); but, I've come to see the positive things in taking it slow and sitting around.
And anyway, I suppose that the experience and knowledge I gain here will help me sometime down the road (though hopefully not in a similar situation x).

Stay strong (in more ways than physically)
follow your dreams (unless they're about world domination)
and look up once in a while (literally and figuratively)

A much needed update. Pics included. WARNING: contains potentially upsetting unpleasantries.

Hey, all!

So, here I am, thought I'd give an update. Also, sorry if I've been distant or short with anyone, as of late.

Here are some pics for you:

Pre-Op

 Two Days Post-Op

So yeah, the first one is from right before I went under, and the second one is from my post-op check-up. Kinda nasty, right? I admit it, it is. In a way, it doesn't even feel like a part of me, an "other". Although, I realize this kind of thinking can be dangerous and also disloyal. This is my knee. This is a part of who I am, and that's awesome. And besides, it won't be like this forever. This isn't my first time either. I've done it before, I'll do it again. 

Lately I've been lying in bed. litterally. I've been alternating between sleeping, computering, and attempting. Sleep comes naturally and readily (I am so so thankful for that btw), as does computering (yes I just made that up. Shakespeare did and so can I), but attempting can be a bit difficult (as the name implies).

Attempting: 

        Attempting to sit-up in bed for extended periods of time: mildly successful.

I find that sitting in my bed is difficult because it takes energy that I don't have, to get comfortable -- and since I can't really get comfortable leaning against the wall, I'm always moving, and that is kinda painful. 

        Attempting to make food: not really successful

 It takes ridiculous amounts of energy to put on my brace, find my crutches, and hobble around striving to make food without any hands (crutches take those away); luckily, I have loving housemates who check on me and make me food sometimes. Although, I did make a sandwhich today. Almost made pasta. I think that's progression xD

        Attempting to be social: meh.

I've actually been out of "the den" (aka my bed) a few times to meet people. That was exhausting; but exciting, well-needed, and well-worth it. I'm sure I appeared high when I saw them, but oh well. 

But other then that, I feel I should have been calling people with updates, and I haven't. Again, sorry. 

        Attempting to shower: awkward.

Yes, yes, I know. Why would I talk about this? It isn't pleasant or socially acceptable and blah blah blah almost everything inside me is protesting against the letters I'm typing. But oh well, this is my blog and if you're uncomfortable with the truth that that sucks. 

So yeah, I wasn't allowed to get the surgical site wet for two days after surgery, so I didn't shower then; also, considering I was a delirious vegetable, showering wouldn't have been the best idea anyway. But TODAY. TODAY I DID IT. It took a full hour, with many needed breaks. But heck yeah, I'm clean and I love it. Also I put on jean shorts and a t-shirt after-wards, which is a step-up from my spandex shorts and sports bra I've been sporting lately. Yay for modesty. 

It's small things, you know? You don't realize that getting out of bed, stepping into a shower, walking to the fridge -- you don't realize that these things are freakin amazing until you can't do them anymore. But enough of my melodrama. I'm fine, I'm breathing, and I have firmly decided to put off any stressing, worrying, and self-pity until monday.

So yeah. That's about it with me. I've also been attempting at doing homework, have gotten myself off the narcotic drugs the doc gave me (hasn't been much pain, thankfully), and have caught up on my two new shows (Downton Abbey and The Red Band Society).  

See ya later, Alligators.

(Post Script: The Red Band Society has gotten me through some tough moments, maybe because I feel I relate to the show. It isn't a perfect representation of hospitals, it has flaws; but, it's kinda incredible. Hope it stays strong...)

A RATHER TECHNICAL POST POST SRCIPT: for those interested in the technicalities of it all, I'll say this: the stitches are dissolvable, the surgery was done mostly arthroscopicly, and I did not get a nerve block. The surgery was mainly preventative. I have a have had several dislocations and issues in the past, and they have messed up some cartilage and stuff. It can most easily be described as a ticking-time bomb: I go about my life, waiting for my next dislocation or subluxation, knowing more damage will be caused. Hopefully this surgery will be the last and no complications will ensue. Oh and I'm in a locked brace and crutches until further notice, I see my doc again in two weeks -- which is when I hope he will ok PT and no crutches. Wish me luck! 

Post-Op Adventures: Day One

Yesterday was it! Nothing too exciting to report, but here's what went down.

OH BUT BEFORE THAT I thought I should write about what the surgery actually was. I tore a ligament-tendon-thingy on the inside of my left knee, called my MPFL. It's job is to keep my knee cap from dislocating and sliding about all the time. They grafted a muscle from my hamstrings to it, sort of like a muscle-band-aid, if you will. They also smoothed some the cartilage in the back of my knee that had been roughed up from all of the times my knee has dislocated or partially dislocated.

SO NOW THAT THAT IS OUT OF THE WAY, here is what happened:
        Got to the hospital at 8;30, had the surgery at ten, and left around 4:30-5:00, arrived at my Aunt           and Uncle's home at about six, then slept the rest of the night and most of today. Texted some             awesome people, and now I'm back in my dorm.

There has been very little pain so far, mostly nausea from some of the meds -- though, luckily, I have learned how to stop the nausea by simply taking the anti-nausea pills ten minutes before I take the other pills. I've been pretty good at keeping up with my meds! So that's good x)

I've been up on crutches a few times yesterday and today, it just takes a lot of energy and incites some dizziness, so I try to avoid that.

My follow up with my surgeon is tomorrow at 2:00, so that's good! He'll tell me when I can start physical therapy and all that good stuff.

(OH AND P.S I was pretty weird coming off the anesthesia. If you see me, ask me to tell you some of things that went down x)

OH AND P.P.S I've got some cool before and after photos, so stay tuned for that.)

Introductions, Feelings of Anticipation, and Content.

SO. I've thought a lot, over the years, about starting a blog. I've written countless first-posts, designed numberless templates, thought about many titles -- why did this one stick? 

I like to think that it was fate, destiny, or something else as mystical and out-of-my-control; but, in reality, I created this specific blog as a post-op journal. Oh, yeah. If you didn't know, I'm getting surgery on my knee this coming Tuesday! Yay! I'm attempting to keep a positive attitude, if you haven't noticed.

Anyways where was I? Right, post-op journal. So, after extensive research (and by "research" I mean Googling), I have decided that the vast majority of the internet is correct: Keeping a public record of your progress, consecutively, after your procedure, is kinda an awesome idea.

Reasons for it's awesomeness:

        

        1) It makes your progression tangible

        2) It is easily accessible and hardly lost

        3) Writing for an audience bestows upon the writer (me) a sense of commitment

So, after deciding to showcase my attempts at forming beautiful sentences to the inter-webs, I designed the blog, and here I am now crafting this post. 

I wonder what you're thinking, reader. Perhaps you're musing about the blogs possible content? Or if it will be nearly as entertaing as cat videos? Well, as to the content: I can't surely say, but hopefully it will contain inspiring, interesting, and informative words -- and, of course, I might even throw in some video of a cute kitty. 

Or, maybe, no one is reading this at all -- But either way, audience or no, I'm going to keep this up. I'm going to stick with this blog because it means something to me. It means that I have hope, it means that there is an end to this trial (one that I can see), and it means that I am doing something about my circumstance -- and not letting it do something about me.